There is reality, and then there’s another universe called “Your Jewish Dad’s Reality.” He wants you to be happy and treated well, but if he could control it, he would pick your partner for you. In fact, there are probably quite a few Jewish fathers who have attempted this trick. On his planet, there are only a few men who are good enough for you and, unfortunately, your choices rarely make the cut!
When I told my dad I was getting a divorce, he had a list of suggestions of who would make the best candidate for hubby number two. It was sweet because he wants me to be happy, but also slightly impossible since he hasn’t been out in the world to see the people I keep meeting. Here are three men your Jewish dad is begging you to marry.
1. The Doctor
A doctor is the Jewish dad’s dream. He has a good education and a steady job. Most likely, robots won’t replace doctors thirty years from now, g-d willing.
The doctor is perfect for his hypochondriac sensibilities, and he’s already got a long list of questions to ask your husband who, as you gently remind him, isn’t your husband yet, much less your boyfriend, much less your date. A doctor is also favored because his advice is helpful and he knows other doctors, which makes your Jewish dad thrilled.
2. The Lawyer
Yes, these are all stereotypes, but the fact is, it was my dad’s next choice for husband number two. Lawyers have the gift of gab that can compete with your Jewish father as well as entertain him. Lawyers also have endless connections to everyone from the police force to great accountants because, let’s face it, even the nicest Jewish guys need a lawyer now and then.
Lawyers have the perhaps unfair reputation of being stuffy, but your Jewish dad can handle that. He knows that lawyers and doctors work late hours, but he sees stability and a decent income in your future.
3. The Accountant/Finance Guy
How else can your dad get a break on his taxes? And is he managing his funds properly? These are just a few of the questions he wants to throw at your potential partner.
A guy who works with numbers is attractive to your dad because, while he works late hours sometimes, it’s mostly during tax season. Meanwhile, the chances he will get sued like a doctor are much less likely. Your dad wants you to have a present husband and not one who is never home or in jail for malpractice. Most importantly, a finance guy or accountant will have great tips for managing your money as a couple, which suits your dad’s sensibilities and puts him at ease about your future.
The bottom line is that your Jewish dad wants you to be happy, comfortable and secure. He sees these men as the catches of all catches. Even if you choose the butcher, the baker or the candlestick maker, your Jewish dad just wants to see you happy. Who can blame him?