You made the admittedly risky choice to tell your Jewish mom that you are going on a date. Let’s face it; now that you told her, she will not stop bothering you for a second. She’ll nag you and question you like she’s the head of the CIA. You’ll want to run away. Brace yourself, because once you tell your Jewish mother about your date, she’ll use the following tactics to make you completely nervous about it.

1. She Will Question You 50 Times

The questions are coming. Oh yes, they are!

Your Jewish mother will question you not once, not twice, not thrice but at least 50 times about your upcoming date. She will want to know where she went to college and where she’s originally from. But that’s just the beginning …

  • “Is she Jewish?”
  • “What does she do for a living?”
  • “What do her parents do?”
  • “What does she look like?”
  • “What is her blood type?”

You get the drill. Besides asking for a full background check on the person you’re meeting up with, she’ll have to hear the plan in detail. Be prepared to answer questions about when the date is, where you’re going, what you’re going to wear and what you’re going to order at the coffee shop or restaurant.

2. She’ll Compare Your Date To Someone Else

As you tell your mother the details about this new woman, she will start to interject comparisons of one of two people:

  1. The woman she thinks is REALLY right for you (most likely an ex or a friend from childhood who you haven’t seen in 20 years)
  2. The woman she couldn’t stand to see you with (most likely a different ex)

First, if she compares her to someone she likes, she’ll say things like, “Oh, X would never have done or said that!” or, “Really, that’s what she does for a living? Well X does this and it’s so much better because … ”

If she’s feeling intense relief over this date as compared to you being with a former woman she didn’t care for, she’ll do the opposite. “She sounds so lovely. So much better than X.” At least in this case, she actually approves of your date. But it doesn’t make it any easier to hear about!

3. She’ll Hit Up Your Siblings For Details

If you decided to skip out on telling your Jewish mom about the date, be prepared for her to bother your siblings and family members. She will tear them to shreds about any possible detail regarding your “infamous” date. You will pay them to keep their mouths shut. Most likely, they will cave under pressure and reveal some details. Can you blame them?

4. She’ll Be So Excited, She May Jinx You

Your Jewish mom may be so excited about your date that she might jinx you. She’ll pick out the color of the dress she will wear as mother of the groom as well as the names of your future children. Yeah, she’s dooming this potential relationship to nothing already, isn’t she?

Jewish mothers can certainly be a handful. But as your mom puts your nerves into high gear before a date, try to remember that it’s only because she loves you so much … even if it drives you a little bit crazy sometimes!

You may also be interested in 5 Signs Your Girlfriend Is Ready To Meet Your Jewish Mother

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