It was against all (or at least many) odds that my husband and I made it this far. I live in Bergen County, NJ, and he lived in West Hartford, CT – until about three weeks ago when he came to live with me and my three kids (in spite of the fact that we married in Feb. 2014).
When Gary first contacted me on JDate in 2010, handsome and charming though he was, I wasn’t terribly interested. He lived two hours away. And he wasn’t yet divorced. In fact, he and his ex-wife were still living in the same house at the time. On top of that, Gary is a well-respected neurologist who was in private practice in CT for over 20 years.
Friends told me it was ridiculous to expect him to leave a successful practice he’d spent decades building, but I couldn’t relocate because of my custody agreement. Essentially, it was all more complicated than what I was looking for. I replied to his initial email with something like “You’re very cute. Plus, who can resist a Jewish doctor? Too bad you live so far away. Good luck!”
But Gary wouldn’t take “no” for an answer. He wrote again, something adorable and persuasive. Of course, I wrote back.
When we met, a month or two after our initial JDate communication, we were thrilled that the in-person (or as my kids would say: IRL) attraction was as real as our “virtual” chemistry. However, I was still wary about all the hurdles we faced in trying to unite our lives. Gary was undaunted, determined to make it work. He went so far as to appeal to my Rabbi, my sister, and my closest friends to help him win me over. And he did.
Ultimately, Gary closed his practice in CT and accepted a wonderful position here in NJ. He is the best husband and step-father my kids and I could ever ask for. He’s a true gentleman, so sweet, tirelessly giving, and helpful. I’m always playfully saying “Thank you, JDate” because he’s so good to us. Gary treats my kids like they’re his own, schlepping them around, helping with homework, and he takes a genuine interest in their lives.
I think that my best advice to other JDaters would be to be patient, keep an open mind and heart, and to be flexible because when I first started dating Gary, technically, I was having a long-distance relationship with a married man, and I certainly didn’t sign on to JDate for that! But now he’s my husband and he’s the most wonderful man I’ve ever known.
So you see, dear fellow JDaters, sometimes things work out like you want them to. Anything worth having is worth working for. And there really are second, third (even fourth, fifth, sixth etc.) chances at love!
Jill and Gary
Bergen County, New Jersey