Dating can suck. It can make even the sanest person go crazy. Try as hard as you can not to let it. When your new guy or gal doesn’t answer the phone or immediately text you back, don’t automatically assume that he or she is doing something they are not supposed to. Take a deep breath. Distract yourself. And get those insecure thoughts out of your head so that you don’t begin to act and sound cray-cray. There will almost always be a very rational explanation which you should not assume is a lie. And if it is daylight hours during a workweek then you really can’t fault anyone for not giving you the attention you hoped for when someone is conducting business. In fact, if it’s only been one phone call unanswered or an hour without a reply to the text, then don’t even question the delay or you will sound cray-cray. If this is repetitive behavior and the self-made excuses sound fishy that’s when it warrants some questioning and doubt, but not before.

  1. So true – and not only limited to women, I’ve dated guys who act like girls in this way. But there is a polar opposite happening too – I don’t hear from some men for days – weeks, months, even – then they just act like everything’s fine and we can pick right up where we left off. It doesn’t work that way. That brings out the cray cray in me.

    There’s a certain rhythm to relationships, and I can’t get into a groove with someone I only hear from sporadically. These are eligible men but just never get anything off the ground because they can’t manage to communicate regularly. I call them prairie dogs – they pop up (texttexttext) then disappear (silence…a week goes by) then pop up again, gone. Repeat!

    Some guys text me like that for months, never materializing, til I finally have to say ‘please stop’. It gives new meaning to the term “long distance relationship”. The guy’s around the corner, but emotionally he’s light years away.

    So what’s the ‘right’ timing for keeping in touch in early courtship?

  2. Hi Janie! Thanks for the great feedback. Your question is very common and I’m going to answer it in my next post. -Tamar

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