I’ve talked about canceling at the last minute before, but how do you tell the difference between a legitimate excuse and a bogus one?
A legitimate excuse arrives by phone call – although text is acceptable – at least six hours before the time of the date, and the person gives you an explanation. Additionally, the call should include the intent to get together again by asking for your availability.
You can say or send an “easy-breezy” reply, something like: “No worries, I hope everything is okay.” If the person canceling the date is legit, they will likely respond right away and make new plans.
A bogus cancellation (a blow-off) usually occurs by text less than four hours before the date, offers no explanation except the need to cancel, and does not allude to making it up to you.
You can reply with the same as above, but don’t expect a response. Or, you can call this person’s bluff by not responding at all. If they are truly interested then they will try again, but don’t be surprised if you don’t hear from them in the following days.
One time I got the blow-off from a guy 25 minutes before a first date. He claimed his grandma died. Since I was already dressed to go out, I decided to have dinner with my friends instead. There’s a row of great restaurants downtown, and we decided to see which had the shortest wait. I saw him in the window of the tapas restaurant, and he was with another girl. In my eyes, honesty is always the best policy. Part of a relationship is respect, and he clearly didn’t respect me or my time.