When we really want to be in a relationship, many of us tend to make excuses for the current prospect who is only pretty good, but not great. If you haven’t come across “great” yet, you might start to question if your expectations are unrealistic and if such a person could even exist. We start to tell ourselves lies and accept feelings and behaviors that we normally wouldn’t. If you hear any of these thoughts running through your mind, you may have lowered your standards a little too far.
1 .”She’s Probably Over Her Ex.”
When your date tells you they just got out of a relationship, it is a huge signal to either wait or take it slow. No matter what they say about how much they are over it, or how happy they are for the relationship to be over, or that they’re excited to be single and dating again … that fact remains that they just got out of a relationship. Repeat: they just got out of a relationship. If it’s “meant to be” between the two of you, then a little time will only make things better. Don’t force things.
2. “Being Asked Out On The Same Day Is Fine, I Guess.”
You don’t want to be somebody’s last-minute back-up plan. Getting together as soon as possible is great for momentum, but it’s better for you both to not immediately admit that you don’t have plans (even if you don’t). Keep some excitement and let it build for a day or two before getting together. If someone is asking you out for that day, it’s likely that they were just bored.
3. “Texting During A Date Isn’t A Big Deal.”
Your phone should remain out of sight and on silent. Unless you have small children or an ill parent, then there is no reason to keep your phone on the table. If your date pulls out their phone, it’s a likely indication that they aren’t very interested – not to mention disrespectful.
4. “His Late-Night Texts Aren’t Booty Calls.”
If a recent prospect is texting you before you’ve been on more than a handful of dates, that’s bad enough. But if the texts are coming in after 8pm, it’s even worse. You’re obviously not going to go out on a serious date that late, and “Netflix and Chill” is probably not what you had in mind. The person texting you is not considering you as a serious prospect if they are texting you to get together after 8pm.
5. “I Totally Look Like My Profile Photo From Six Years Ago.”
You don’t. I know you think you do, but you don’t.
6. “Maybe The Attraction Will Grow.”
If there was absolutely no chemistry on your date, then chances are that there will never be no matter how many other boxes they check off. If there was a small iota of attraction, then definitely go out again and see if it grows. But don’t try to convince yourself that there’s something there when there isn’t.
No one thinks they’re that desperate single person, but if you are making excuses like the ones listed above, then you may just be in denial. It’s one thing to compromise on small things (he’s 5’11 when you prefer a guy over 6′ tall), but if you find yourself excusing bad behavior you may need to rethink how badly you want to be in a relationship and what you’re willing to put up with.
You may also be interested in Are You Sabotaging Your Love Life? 5 Dating Excuses To Avoid
Statistics show that love and marriage on the rebound has the same rate of success as if not on the rebound. And also, zero chemistry on the first date is not a deal breaker. What about liking, respect, friendship, and what you want out of life. Try a few dates. See Fiddler on the Roof. Tamar Caspi is sometimes right, and sometimes wrong.