Most of your problems can be solved when they are finally spoken out loud; when your closest friends pathetically judge them as you sit on top of your comfortable couch and blab about why something is not working out for you and how you desperately wish things would be a certain way.

Stop complaining, they will start off by saying until finally, after going back and forth for a little while, they will let you know that maybe if you want to change the way things are YOU need to do something about it.

Which was the case when I told my friends how I don’t get messages on JDate by the guys that I think are attractive and interesting. Their prime and dandy solution was simple: reach out to them.

• Do: Go after what you want and who you are interested in. Figure out what makes this person stand out and then tell them. Stray away from shy feelings and pump up your confidence level by reminding yourself what’s the worst that can happen? They won’t respond—so what?

• Don’t: Look at something that you desire and say I hope it comes to me. If you take that approach, you’ll be sitting on your couch, stuffing down a bowl full of popcorn waiting and waiting and waiting for nothing grand to happen.

Read more Jen Glantz, here: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com