I’ve learned large fragments of stranger’s lives stories while sitting, alone, on my couch sifting through text messages that read more like short stories than quick back and forth “what’s up” banter. While getting to know someone through text message chatting before going out with them on an actual date is helpful and a great first step, too much “foreplay” with text messages can be an easy way to turn someone off.

Do: When texting someone you’ve never met in person, it’s perfectly okay to dabber in conversation over how their day was and to go back and forth, for a little, in order to get to know some of the things they enjoy and a few things that are important to them. When it comes to the best time to text someone, do so in the same hours that you’d communicate with your parents. Would you ever text your mom at 2am? Apply those same rules with date texting.

Don’t: Save your life stories, your epic monologues, your day to day play by play for the in person conversation. Don’t divulge in excessive texting of a person you’ve never met before for three main reasons: they may not get your humor before they meet you and be instantly turned off, it’s best to save some game and hot topics to speak about when meeting in person, and too much texting may make it sound like you’re placing them in a ‘friend zone’ with no intention to set up an actual date. Keep the texting to a minimum and to just a few days, then, go for the gold and ask the person out.

Read more Jen Glantz, here: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com

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