Searching through your matches on JDate can make you feel like a kid in a candy store! But, if you want to skip the sugar-rush, then it’s best to pick out just a few matches at a time and focus on making a good first online impression. Even when there is a computer (or a smartphone) between the two of you, first impressions count! Your initial contact could make or break whether you score a date. Ready to get focused? Here are a few suggestions to help you spruce up that first email and improve your chances of getting a reply:

  • Be Yourself

Funny, serious, chivalrous, sweet, sporty, artsy — your online personality should match your offline persona! Especially in your first email to someone who has never met you. Be careful, however, to make sure you don’t overdo it or exaggerate.

  • Show Some Respect

Be polite and respectful no matter what. Remind yourself that you are writing to a person, not a computer or a customer service representative. Show your interest with a few kinds words and thoughtful comments.

  • Humor Trumps Hotness

Ok, that’s not always true, but it can often get you through the front door! So if you’ve got a knack for being witty, use it. (A word of caution: not everyone is funny, nor does everyone appreciate an off-beat sense of humor. Sometimes a joke can be misunderstood, especially online. Choose your jokes carefully.)

  • Templates are Terrible

Never send out a pre-written “form” email, it shows! Believe me, the person you are emailing will hit delete faster than you can copy and paste! If you’re interested in someone, take your time and write a personalized email.

  • Whet Their Appetite

Briefly share about yourself in the email. Don’t just send your match straight to your profile; give them a nibble to spark their interest.

  • Perfect Your Profile

The person you’re emailing is going to check out your profile before responding to you. Spend some time on your essays and keep your photos updated! No one wants to date a girl who looks like she is still rocking her jeggings from 2009. Likewise, no one is going to be intrigued by a guy who is talking about how excited he is to graduate from med school in 2010.

  • Reading Rainbow

Before you write an email to someone new, take your time and read their profile. Heck, read ten profiles! Get a feel for the people that attract your interest and then use their profiles to help you craft your emails. This will illustrate that you are truly interested (and it’s the best way to score points, for sure)! Here are three easy ways to show that you’ve read a profile:

  1. Single out one or two things that caught your attention in the profile.
  2. Tell the person what you like about them. Just make sure the compliment is sincere!
  3. Figure out what you have in common (favorite sports teams, restaurants or political parties) and then ask them about it.
  • Keep Going

Keep the email conversation alive by asking engaging questions. You’ll score even more points when you do (people love to talk about themselves), and this will also help you decide if the two of you are compatible. Stumped on what to ask? Here are three examples to get you started:

  1. If you could pick any profession other than your own, what would it be?
  2. If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
  3. What is the one most important quality you look for in a mate?


Rachel is JDate’s Community Manager. She’s here to break down the rules of dating, share first date tips and offer words of encouragement when dating gets tough. Hit up her Tumblr page for more insightful advice. Or, learn what makes Rachel tick by visiting her JDate profile!
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