As the argument in “When Harry Met Sally” goes, can men and women ever be just friends? It’s an interesting question to think about because depending on who you ask, you’re going to get a different answer. So, here’s my take on it.

Yes. I feel men and women can be just friends depending on the situation and the specific relationship. Here are two scenarios to think about.

Scenario 1: Childhood Friends

Let’s say a girl and a guy have been friends since before they could walk. And whether they liked it or not, their families were best friends so they spent countless days and moments together since birth until college (and then, too, when they were home for the holidays). By default, they were friends, but they did enjoy each other’s company so it worked out well. Over 30 years later, their families are still best friends, so they’re still closely connected.

In this scenario, they can be just friends. Even if, at some point throughout their years as friends, they dabbled in being more than that, their history as friends far outweighs any short-lived romantic connection. The only time it would possibly be an issue is if one of them started to develop feelings for the other, but those feelings weren’t reciprocated. However, most people in these scenarios remain great lifelong friends, and even end up going on double dates with their respective significant others.

Scenario 2: Amicable Exes

To be honest, this one can sometimes pose a problem, but not always! Let’s say a man and a woman dated, but then eventually decided to break up for reasons both of them genuinely agreed with (as in both truly agreed, not where both say they agree, but one actually doesn’t). In this case, the man and woman can very well be friends! Is it necessary? No. It’s never necessary to be friends with your ex, but is it possible? Yes. If both were in agreement on the break up, there probably aren’t any hard feelings, and maintaining a friendship is possible.

However (and this is a big however), if one person still has feelings for the other, they cannot (and I repeat CANNOT) remain friends. It’ll give a false sense of hope to the one who still has feelings, and that is never a fun situation in which to be.

So, can you be friends with the opposite sex? Yes, you absolutely can be. Just be aware of your feelings and their feelings. Granted, if you both end up falling in love (I’m looking at you, Sally and Harry), then that’s an added bonus!

You may also be interested in What To Do When You Want To Be More Than Just Friends