Next time you are out on a JDate, or any date in general, I propose a new activity.  Bring a small notebook with you and take down meticulous notes over everything that transpires.

When you first meet, you might hug awkwardly.  Be sure to start your minutes with a long description of how you greet each other.  Don’t worry; she won’t think you’re creepy.  She’ll think you’re intelligent and thorough.  She will probably first ask what you are doing.  Write that down!  “What are you writing?” she might ask.  Don’t answer; that will only draw attention to the fact that you’re constantly writing in a notebook and seem, from an outside perspective, insane.

“So, what do you like to do for fun?” you write in your notebook after asking her in person.  Listen to her while you are writing, as writing the sentence will likely take longer than verbally asking her.  She may answer with a fun quip like, “I like it when someone I’m on a first date isn’t taking punctilious notes while I’m trying to have a conversation.”  Classic!  Women: What are you gonna do?  Can’t take notes on ’em, can’t appreciate some good, copious notation.

By the time you reach your table (assuming you are at a restaurant), you should have roughly ten pages already written in your handy notebook.  Now, start writing down everything that’s on the menu.  This is so you appear intelligent while the girl tries her hardest to talk to you.  Don’t worry, she may seem agitated.  This is only because she is wholly interested in your curious knack for writing while simultaneously not listening to anything she’s saying.  Now, try to think of a simple topic that you can talk about while constantly writing.  “So, our town’s NFL team is pretty bad, huh?”  She will probably respond with, “Are you a serial killer?”  When this question arises, and it undoubtedly will, be sure to answer with, “No”.

Please do not do anything that I have written in this post, and you should be able to live a happy life with the girl/boy that you love.