After learning many (two) important lessons from my apocalyptic-soul-crushing-equivalent-of-a-first date, I assured myself that, by definition, the next date could not be any worse.  This time I would not blindingly dive into a pit of uncertainty.  I had to arm myself.

First, I decided to read information posted about people before deciding to meet them in person.  Last time, my criteria for a date consisted of the other party being a girl.  This time, maybe, I would check to see if we had some, or any, shared interests. The first girl’s profile I looked at said that she liked food.  I like food, too!  Bingo!  Let’s look at more things!  We both like attending events!  This is unreal.  Her “About Me” section was pleasant and she seemed like a really nice person.

Second, I decided that I would chat online with someone before I rush and ask a stranger out to dinner.  I wasn’t yet aware of the feature where you could immediately chat with anyone else that is online at the same time.  I sent the same girl an email, which began a nice back-and-forth conversation.  Once I felt comfortable, I asked her to dinner.  She said yes!

We went to a quasi-fancy Italian restaurant, and it was quasi-expensive.  We both ordered spaghetti, and it was quasi-tasty.  The entire night had an awkward tinge to it.  I don’t think there’s any way to meet a person for the first time after talking online for so long and not feel a little uncomfortable.  If there is, maybe that is love.

Though there was never a second date, I left the first date feeling just fine.  The one date fulfilled all the social and food requirements I needed for the night.  Though I did want to see her again, she apparently did not.  Since I had nothing to lose, I asked her why she didn’t want to see me.  She responded by saying that though I was a nice guy, I mentioned bodily functions too much.  Who knew?