My JDating® friend Miriam just met a guy who is approaching 40 and has never been in a serious, long-term relationship that was headed for marriage. I found it highly suspect that someone with so many years of dating under his belt had never been engaged, or lived with someone. I understand that some people were busy and invested in their career. I have sympathy for people who didn’t realize they were being too picky until it was too late. I have empathy for people who simply weren’t ready until they were over the hill.
But I question the person’s willingness to compromise and be compatible with others. Most of the men and women I know who are still single and in their 40s are beyond stubborn and not willing to change anything in their life anymore because they have become too self-sufficient and independent. They are so used to being alone that they can’t seem to share their life in order to make a relationship work.
Every single – no matter their age – needs to be open-minded, willing and flexible. There is not one relationship – friendship, marriage or otherwise – that is successful without compromising. Both participants have to be prepared to meet in the middle. I know plenty of 30-year-olds who are just as stuck in their ways, but luckily for them they still have time to learn and adjust before their biological clock starts ticking in overdrive.
[…] just read your post “Never Been Married” from January 19 about your friend who met a 40 year old who has never been married or come […]