Dear GemsFromJen,

I am about to turn 26 and live in New York City. I have never dated and am really interested in dating or getting into a relationship if and when I find the right person. I am shorter than average height and do weigh a bit more than I should, which makes it harder for me with online dating since the picture is all you really have to go on when looking at people’s profiles. I need some suggestions as to how to turn this all around in my favor.

I have a lot to offer and am a great friend, listener and would like to be someone’s best friend and partner in life. I really want to have a family and experience the amazing restaurants/parks/recreation NYC has to offer with that someone special or at least experience some fun dating in my 20’s.

Can you help me? Any advice?


Dear Lindsay,

To be 26 and single in the big city is fantastic! Your 20’s only come once and taking full advantage of these exciting years is my best suggestion.

Firstly, there is no shame in who you are. We women have so many stereotypes to live up to that it is no wonder we question our physical appearance. I know I have many more times than I even care to remember. What is wrong with being short? I once dated a guy who was 6 feet tall and he always commented on how grateful he was that I was considered short (I’m 5 feet 2 inches). He loved that I would ask him to reach items off of tall shelves and change light bulbs. Men like to feel needed, so this worked in my favor!

Who decided you weigh more than you should? If a doctor has given you this advice then yes, follow doctor’s orders. If however, you are comparing yourself to other women or what you think every man likes, then get that idea out of your head and fast! Men are attracted to all shapes and sizes. There is most certainly a match out there for you.
You mentioned all of the great qualities you possess. Keep those in mind and face the dating world with confidence. Looks fade; but qualities like being a good listener and a best friend last a lifetime. Any man that chooses a woman solely based on looks is a man you want to run far away from.

Spice up your profile a bit. Have a friend take some pictures of you doing things in the city that you enjoy. Make sure to smile and let your personality shine through.

Keep me posted and good luck with your JDate search!

Gems from Jen