I sit in the brand-new room of a brand-new building belonging to a very old university waiting for my final exam to begin. I had thoroughly prepared for the exam. I studied, which I learned, helps a lot when taking an exam over the same material. I got to class half an hour early, which was rare for me. I made sure to sit at least two seats over from anyone else, as is the usual seating arrangements for such events. Once the exam was handed out, I realized that I would probably not do well without a way to document my answers. I made sure that I had a document-recorder, and panic when I realize that I have no pencil. Though we had three hours to complete the test, I spent the first hour and a half whisper-yelling at my friend who was sitting two people down from me.
Now I am supposed to make a metaphor connecting that boring story to dating. I have got nothing. I was just sitting here thinking about that morning seven years ago, and how much better on the test I would’ve done if I brought a pencil. I guess I was just as nervous before the exam as I am before a first date. Before a date, I spent a whole lot of time preparing, but never think of the small stuff. I get all dressed up, and make sure I am well-shaven and teeth-brushened, but don’t think about conversation starters or the fact that I don’t have enough money to pay for two meals.
At the end of the exam, as I handed the professor my exam, I apologized by saying that I would have done much better if I had remembered to bring a pencil. He smiled and said “Jeremy, you will soar.” Despite the exam, I did fine in the class. I wish I had that professor handy whenever I’m worried about a date’s progress. If a woman asks me what I want to do, maybe I answer that I want to be an airline pilot. What better thing to hear after saying that than, “Jeremy, you will soar.”?