Dear Gems from Jen,

I am rejoining the single scene after quite some time. I am looking for one special woman. If I go out with a woman and she is nice and pleasant, but not quite what I am looking for, how do you end the date or do you follow up later and explain to her that she is not the one? This part really worries me because I try to be nice to everyone and I can handle a woman telling me, but I do not know how to tell this to a woman.

Thank you,
Not a Clue

Dear Not a Clue,

I understand how difficult and uncomfortable this part of dating can be. Being nice is one thing, but being too nice can have negative consequences for not just the woman, but you as well. For example, she might be highly interested and you, without even knowing it may be keeping her hopes high. It could also put you in an uncomfortable situation. For instance, there is always the possibility she might become angry with you for stringing her along. If you are on a date and realize you have no interest in the woman by all means let her know. It is much “nicer” to be honest. You can do this tactfully. Let her know what a good time you are having, but also let her know there is not a romantic connection. Dating does not have to be the end all. Keep in mind there are a lot of great women out there and there is nothing wrong with making some new friends. Remember, you are looking for that one special person, so being nice to yourself is just as important as being nice to the people around you.

Gems from Jen