In most relationships there comes a point in time when you need to have “the talk.” Usually what precipitates this conversation is the feeling by one, or both, of you that you aren’t on the same page regarding where the relationship is, what your expectations are, and where it has the potential to go in the future. However even though having this conversation might seem like a positive for any couple it is not always easy to initiate, or have, especially if you have a very unclear picture of where you stand with the other person.

Additionally if, like me, you’ve had bad experiences with these types of conversations in the past, then you know how ominous the time leading up to them feels, and the impending doom that might very well ensue during and after the talk. The last time I had one of these “talks” with a woman I was seeing it started with me asking her, after we had a few drinks, how she would classify our relationship (casual, exclusive, other?); she ended up reacting defensively and threw the question back at me. In a panic I decided to change the subject since I had clearly touched a nerve and had tried to bring up a subject that she wasn’t ready, or willing, to discuss at that point in time.

The feeling of not being on the same page as someone that you are seeing can be uncomfortable; however, I think that in spite of those feelings it is important to do what you can to have an open line of communication with people you are dating. I have been casually seeing a woman for a couple months now and am beginning to feel like we need to have “the talk” because I am not totally sure how she feels about things and where she sees the relationship going. In the end, even though, to a certain extent, I am dreading this conversation because it might not go well, I know that even if I don’t hear what I want,  it’ll be better to have the opportunity to put my cards out on the table instead of remaining unclear on how she views me and our relationship.