Hi Tamar,

I’ve been on and off JDate for several years, making sure to update my profile every now and again.

A few months ago, I signed up for a six-month subscription once again and reactivated my profile from the year before. I changed my essays and updated a few of my photos, but have received so little attention. Am I doing something wrong?

Even the emails I send out to guys (which I know are read) get no response! I have no idea if I am on the right track with my profile — or if there is something terribly uninteresting about it.

Additionally, all the matches I get are always the same people that I have either messaged, or I am sure I am not interested in. I changed my search criteria a little bit, but it didn’t change much. This is so discouraging and I am not sure what to do.

 

Dear Off and On,

After checking out your profile I have a few notes. First, your profile name is great! It shows you are both fun and creative. I like that you have multiple photos, I would only suggest that you have someone take clearer and more close-up photos of your face with great lighting — and I would have you look straight on to the lens! Then I would reorder the pictures and put the last three photos after the close-up. They show your personality and will bring a smile to the face of your prospects because, again, your fun side is shining through.

I really like your “About Me” and other paragraphs. I would go through and double-check your spelling and grammar — it’s not an uncommon error I find, and it’s also not a “make-or-break,” but it is nice to have a comprehensive profile.

I would try to spice up the section about what you like to do on the weekends… don’t lie of course, but try to show your adventurous side here by talking about what you WOULD do with the right person (jump in the car spontaneously to visit that restaurant you just saw on “Diners, Drive-ins and Dives” in a neighboring state) or what you HAVE done (a progressive dinner with friends hitting up New York’s best restaurants for one course at a time) and not what you do the other 75% of the time.

Finally, in your preferences, I would widen the age range. Honestly, I don’t think that in your mid-to-late 20’s you would date someone three years younger (although I do appreciate the openness to doing so). I would bring your bottom range to a year below your age and your upper range to eight years above your age. 27-36 is a much more realistic range for you than 25-32.

Expand your search criteria for location as well since you are from one state and live in a neighboring state, there’s no reason to not include a wide radius! And don’t be afraid to take a new look at guys who you remember from a few years ago because, just as you have grown and changed, so have they.

I hope these tips help, and good luck finding your Beshert!