Dear Dr. PsychMom,

I’m a guy and I’m 5’2.”  I get no dates.  Thoughts?

-Short & Sweet


Well, SS, your question is as short and sweet as you. I am not going to pull any punches in my answer, because you can handle the truth. Many, many women are setting their online dating parameters at about 5’6” and above, or even 5’8” and above.  So, you’re not even coming up in their search results.  Then, if you do contact a woman and she sees that you’re 5’2,” she may not respond. Her loss.

Why does this happen? Online dating allows women to be very picky, because they are in demand. And the majority of women prefer tall guys. Just like the majority of men prefer big boobs or slender women.  The point here isn’t to throw stones and say that women are shallow, because everyone likes what they like. The thing is though, if you actually met these women in person, they may want to date you because they wouldn’t see you as “a short guy,” because the numbers 5’2” wouldn’t be staring them in the face.  Instead, they would see you as “a funny guy,” or whatever other great qualities you have.

That said, here is the approach I would take, and if people want to yell at me, they can. (I welcome yelling from adults!  Usually I just get yelled at by my toddlers.)  Anyway, here it is: There is a little known-secret that when you sign up for JDate using their mobile site, you do not have to enter your height! So, delete your current profile and then create a whole new one by signing up through JDate Mobile. I know, I know… deleting your old profile and creating a whole new one is a lot of work! But, what have you go to lose?

If you want to go this route, I would then write something humorous in your new profile description that lets potential matches know your height:

“I’m a smart, funny, politically-minded, and obviously modest lawyer, originally from Philly. I enjoy baseball, Deathcab for Cutie, and intelligent women with opinions about politics.  I am also a huge liar because I did not list my height in the hopes that it would help me get through your search filter! Why? Because I’m 5’2.” PLEASE DON’T STOP READING!  In order to compensate for this shortcoming (get it?), I have learned how to make killer scrambled eggs, how to charm your mother and grandmother upon our first meeting, and how to Irish step dance.  Shoot, there I go lying again.  Okay, fine, I’m short and I can’t Irish step dance at all.  Will you still let me take you to coffee?”

In addition to leading with a little humorous self-deprecation, adjust your height requirement in your search parameters: target short women, like 4’10” to 5’4.” Furthermore, it might be a good idea to lift weights.  Although you can’t get taller, you can get wider, so your square footage will increase.

Good luck, and let me know if you do any better with these helpful, sneaky tips.

Till we meet again, I remain, “The 5’2” Blogapist Whose Height Range Started at 5’7”… So I Am Not Talking Out of My Tuchus Here.”

Click here for a complete list of all Dr. Rodman’s articles.
Dr. Samantha Rodman is a clinical psychologist in private practice and a mom of three kids under 5. She blogs at Dr. Psych Mom. Join her on Facebook and on Twitter @DrPsychMom.
  1. The advise given here is sexist and belittling and I’m a bit shocked a Jewish platform would approve of this article.

  2. This is the worst dating advice I’ve ever encountered on the internet by a mile. Any short men with some self-respect would see how humiliating this ”advice” is.

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