A friend of mine recently reached out to me because he was dating a guy who is really well known and, now that they’ve broken up, he is having a hard time dating because everyone knows him as this famous guy’s boyfriend.

Another friend of mine has garnered a reputation for herself by dating only very successful guys. Yes she wants a smart and established husband, but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t date a hard-working blue collar man.

Yet another friend has earned a rap for dating every single girl in town. He’s putting in the work and looking for the right girl, but all the single ladies are comparing notes and wondering why no one hits it off with him in the meantime.

What do all these singles have in common? They all need to take a step back, evaluate what and who they are looking for in a mate, and then reinsert themselves into the dating scene once they are refreshed. Have confidence while dating, but also have your priorities straight.

My gay friend wants kids so he needs to turn his J-dar on, as well as his gay-dar, and stop pursuing men who live a high profile life.

My girl friend needs to accept every first date she’s asked out on whether the man is accomplished or not. She may like the struggling entrepreneur after all!

And my other guy friend needs to spend a long time fine-tuning his List to help him figure out what he wants and why he hasn’t found it yet. Doing work on yourself is a win-win situation. Not dating until you truly understand what you want is healthy.