One of my pet peeves when it comes to dating is text messaging. Until you know someone well enough to feel certain that there won’t be anything lost in translation, do not text. Alas, people are still going to text and then wonder what went wrong later. Usually, the issue is a text that comes across the wrong way.
After reading this Entrepreneur article about passive-aggressive texts in the business world, I realized that many of the same messages can be just as damaging to your dating life. So if you absolutely must text, be sure to avoid these phrases that can threaten to cut your current romance short.
When you text to ask if everything is okay and you get this response, it usually means the opposite. This means you need to actually dial the number and talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend and find out what’s truly bothering them.
2. “No Worries”
If your date is texting to cancel at the last minute without a very good reason and a suggestion for a make-up date and you reply “no worries,” your date should know without a doubt that they should be worried … about never seeing you again! The best thing to do in this situation is to call immediately and make new plans so they know you’re not rejecting them.
3. “If You Really Want To”
This text message tells you that your date does not want to do whatever you’re suggesting, but they’re trying to be easy going. Some people are so scared of being labeled “high-maintenance” that they are afraid to speak up. If your date texts you this, call and let them know you are willing to do whatever will make the both of you happy!
4. “I’m Not Mad”
If you’re bringing up something that might upset your date, you should not be discussing it via text. I understand that it’s easier, less confrontational and could potentially soften the blow to break the news in a text message. However, it can also ruin your relationship when the other person doesn’t feel like their feelings are heard or valued. Take a few minutes to make a phone call and address the topic so that your date feels respected.
This is possibly the most passive-aggressive message you can send via text. If you get this response, call the person immediately to talk things through. If you are the one giving this response and you don’t get a phone call, then you may need to think about how well your significant other knows you.
Unless these two little letters are followed with something sexy and flirty, there’s probably been a lapse in communication or your date is about to broach a sensitive topic. Cut it off at the pass and pick up the phone to either apologize or face the issue head on. Simple as that!
7. “I Was Only Joking”
If you send this text, it’s a pretty good bet that you weren’t actually joking. Furthermore, it sends the message that you’re aware you said something hurtful and, rather than apologize, you are covering your tracks. It’s safe to say that you are only going to dig yourself a deeper hole if you throw out this cliché. Man (or woman) up, and apologize.
8. “Your Thoughts?”
This last one is often used when a date has already made a decision, but he or she wants to give off the impression that they care about your opinion. Unless it happens often and you aren’t getting a say in your relationship, then you can reply, “Sounds good, next time it’s my turn to make the plans!” and leave it at that.
Whether you’re a new dating prospect or a new relationship, these examples prove that phone calls and face-to-face conversation are always better than texting. If you find yourself tempted to send a passive-aggressive text, pause for a moment to formulate your response, take a few deep breaths and … don’t text. Just call instead, okay? It’s always easier.
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