Are you ready to be engaged and just wondering when your boyfriend will pop the question? Have you shown him ring styles and dreamed about what style of wedding dress you would pick out? Have you already picked out the bridal party in your head?
Waiting for a proposal can be exciting, but before you become a bride, you need to consider if you’re jumping the gun. Is this guy really “the one,” or are you just excited to plan a wedding? Here are four things to consider before you say yes to that Jewish boyfriend of yours, much less the dress!
1. Are You Financially Independent?
It doesn’t matter whether your man-to-be will make a great salary or not; you need to be able to provide for yourself. If you solely rely on someone else for income, you are putting yourself in a bad position. You need to be able to provide for yourself in case your partner gets sick or becomes unemployed. And as much as you don’t want to think about it, being financially independent would make it easier to leave your marriage if things don’t work out.
No one plans a wedding preparing for a divorce, but when it does happen, women are frequently left at a larger disadvantage financially. And let’s face it – life happens. People change. Be sure you can take care of yourself, no matter what. It doesn’t make sense in today’s day and age to be dependent on anyone.
2. Do Your Religious Beliefs & Practices Match Up?
Before choosing this man, consider whether the two of you practice Judaism similarly. Do you both have the same level of devotion (or lack of devotion) to attending services and observing holidays? Do you share the same beliefs in how religion will factor into your potential kids’ lives? If one of you is not observant, is this okay by the other?
These are important factors to consider before becoming a couple for life. Couples can certainly make it work when they have different religious beliefs and practices, but it takes a lot of communication to make sure it doesn’t become an issue in a marriage.
3. Do You Like Your Jewish Boyfriend’s Family?
Even if you don’t live close to your boyfriend’s family, they’ll still factor into your lives throughout your marriage. So ask yourself a few questions, and be honest with your answers. Do you love your boyfriend’s family? Do you get along well with them and feel comfortable with them? Do they like you and approve of the relationship? Can you see yourself handling them as in-laws, even if they can be annoying sometimes?
If you see potential problems on the horizon with his family, get things straightened out before you say “I do.” Even if you don’t get along all that well, consider whether your boyfriend tends to side with them or with you in a disagreement. If you anticipate his family causing problems in your relationship, it’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore.
4. Are You On The Same Page When It Comes To Goals & Values?
Sharing similar dreams and values with a partner is extremely important. Do the two of you share the same vision about how you want your life paths to go? Consider all the things you may or may not want for yourself in the future – travel, career, buying a house, kids, etc. Do you and your boyfriend both want the same things? Don’t wait until after the wedding to figure out whether you both want kids or if you prefer to settle down in the city or the suburbs. Life may not go as planned, but if you have different goals from the outset, you’re already starting off at a disadvantage.
It’s time to put aside your engagement excitement for a little while to really reflect on your relationship. Are you ready to take that next step? Use these prompts to help you decide if he’s really “the one.”
You may also be interested in 6 Signs Your Jewish Boyfriend Is Ready To Pop The Question