When you grow up, have relationships and learn from them, you wonder, “Is there truly that one person for me?” I have had my fair share of relationships in my life and that’s a question that I often wondered with each one. What really defines that perfect one? Is it the perfect girl? The perfect guy? Let’s be honest, there is no such thing. But, there is knowledge that comes from past experiences that shapes your decisions, to find someone that is perfect for you. Where does this happen? Where do you search? You always hear, “You will find it when you least expect it.” That might be the case, but that’s not the norm. Sometimes it’s online dating, sometimes it’s going out, and sometimes it’s a mixture of both. In my case, it was luck. Luck had much to do with it.
I had just decided to add another month to my JDate membership. I wanted to give it one more shot. Truth be told, if that month had come in the summer, I would have never done it. What made it special, what made it important, was that I had just come back from my friend’s house for New Year’s Eve. I thought about the ball dropping at midnight, looking around, and seeing nothing, nobody to share this time with, nobody to go home to. I got home and thought, “Let’s give this one more shot.”
I emailed Rachael (no differently than I did a few other girls). Sure, she was attractive and seemed to be down to earth, but a profile is just a profile. When I happened to see her online the next night, I decided to Instant Message her. Now, she might say that she thought, “Oh, it’s this guy,” but I know she was happy that I did (well, maybe). Remember when I said a profile is just a profile? I meant that. However, actually talking to the person is completely different. When we started chatting on IM, it just flowed, it meant something, it was effortless. When we exchanged numbers, I wasn’t going to wait even a few days to text her, that is not my style. If you want something you go after it. I wanted to see if we picked up right where we left off, and we did. Talking to Rachael was, and still is, like talking to my best friend, except she is a lot more attractive.
We decided to go on a date the night of January 6th. It was a Wednesday night. She wore a long black dress with leggings; sorry, I’m thinking back to that night and just realizing how far we have come. Anyway, we decided to go to the Melting Pot in Hoboken, and we just continued where we left off. It was like we knew each other for years. I know people say that, but truly it was like I knew her forever.
While walking her back to her apartment, I had to go in for the first kiss. Would there be sparks?! I think so! It was as if time on that cold night just stopped, just stood still, like nothing else mattered at that point. At that moment, at that minute, at that second, that was where I was supposed to be. I was like a five-year-old kid, on Christmas, getting that present they didn’t expect to receive (I know it’s JDate, but you get the point)! A last first kiss — because you don’t want another.
A few nights later I went over to her place and cooked dinner, and I never left. Love is a crazy thing. Sometimes it’s lucky. Sometimes you need to be at the right place, at the right time. Sometimes, just sometimes, you love all of the good parts of your past relationships, and find that person that has all of those qualities wrapped into one.
I’m not sure the exact moment I knew Sean was “The One,” but I definitely knew our relationship was something special from the first time we talked. To be honest, I’m not sure I would have answered Sean’s initial message on JDate (I thought it was one of those mass message emails), so it really is fate that we happened to be online at the same time that cold January night when he IM’d me. He was very persistent (and still is to this day) and his sense of humor definitely caught my attention. Our first date seems like a foggy dream to me now, but I remember feeling like I had known Sean forever. As our dates continued, I found myself feeling for him like I had never felt for anyone else before in my life.
Before we knew it, two and a half years filled with lots of traveling, date nights, family functions and little adventures together went by. Whether we were in Costa Rica, Italy, Aruba, or just sitting on the couch watching The Bachelor, we were happy. In that time, we moved in together to our amazing apartment in Hoboken and also got our dog, Riley, who has now become the center of our lives.
Sean, being a helpless romantic, always knew how to surprise me with little things throughout our relationship. But, the biggest surprise definitely came on a sunny Saturday on May 12, 2012. I thought we were just going to brunch with our two friends to a restaurant on the water in Hoboken. As we were walking to the restaurant, our friend said they really wanted to take some pictures by the water with the Manhattan skyline in the background. I didn’t think it was out of the ordinary, being that I love to take pictures.
As our friends started to take a few pictures of Sean and I, Sean is being his normal self and making funny faces. So I say to him, “Can you just take a normal picture please?” He replied, “Why don’t we take one like this?” and proceeded to get down on one knee. He asked me to spend the rest of my life with him, in the park directly across from where we had our very first date two and a half years before. It could not have felt more right, and I could not have been any more surprised. I was so happy/shocked that I was shaking. Bystanders around us started clapping, and he had both of our families waiting for us at the restaurant when we arrived for brunch. It truly was the perfect day.
On September 21st, 2013 at the Pleasantdale Chateau, I get to marry my best friend, my love, my everything. And I could not be any happier. Thank you so much to JDate for bringing us on this amazing journey. Love may not make the world go round, but it makes the ride worthwhile.
Rachael and Sean
Hoboken, New Jersey