Dear Gems from Jen,
On my first JDate experience a year ago, I met an amazing man that I dated for about two months. He was everything that I was looking for in a potential husband. After two months, he stopped calling me and I was crushed. Looking back, I am not even sure that I can call it a “relationship”, there was no intimacy, kissing, hand holding, etc. I thought that he wanted to take it slow but after two months, you begin to think differently. I know that I felt for him more than he felt for me and I was quite sad when I didn’t hear from him again. A year later, I found him again on JDate and I sent him a message. He responded very enthusiastically and told me that we should meet up to catch up and gave me his personal email address. He kept postponing getting together and then stopped emailing altogether. Why would he reconnect again only to blow me off again? Am I crazy to keep pursuing him?
Dear Second Chances,
Are you sure this was a man that really could be a potential husband? As you stated there was no intimacy. He crushed you and now you are looking for heartbreak again. I know if I were in your shoes I would not find this type of behavior husband material. Perhaps your idea of who he was does not match the reality of who he truly is.
What would make you want to continue to punish yourself? This guy is not the amazing man you thought he was. He has played games with you, not once, but twice. No one deserves this kind of treatment. Unless you learn from your past mistakes, you are destined to make them over and over again. Take this opportunity to make the decision that you DO deserve someone who will reciprocate your feelings. You deserve someone who will love you both physically and emotionally. You deserve someone who will find you amazing. Don’t settle for what you perceive to be a great guy. My suggestion is to walk away from this situation without any hesitation.
As for the reasons as to why he would blow you off, only he knows the truth. You can decide to play a guessing game in your head or you can decide that he makes no difference to you. If you chose the latter, then spend your time and energy searching on JDate for a partner that will treat you with love and respect.
Gems from Jen