Dear Tamar,

I want the women I meet on JDate to know having sex right away isn’t my first concern. However, I don’t know how or when to bring up the subject. Maybe I shouldn’t? Please help!

Dear Sex on the Brain,

Your intentions are really great. Really. But in this case, actions speak louder than words. If you bring it up, your dates will most likely think it’s a “line” and sometimes it may even end up working out that way. But if you truly don’t want to have sex right away then simply treat your dates with respect and your intentions will be evident. Of course, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go in for the kiss at the end of  your first date if that’s what you want to do and it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hold hands or touch her arm/leg/back if you are compelled to do so. If you don’t make the normal, natural moves then the woman will think that you’re not interested. Don’t put yourself in positions to have to address it — so basically, until you are ready to have sex don’t make-out naked on the bed.

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