You meet the perfect girl.  It took you long enough but she is just perfect in every way.

Only one problem:  She has a dog and it just doesn’t ever shut up.  This dog makes non-bearded Robin Williams seem calm.  (Why exactly does Robin Williams only act calm when he has a beard in movies or real life?)

Anyway, enough about my strange yet tingly fascination with Robin Williams and his beard.  What do you actually do in this situation?  If there is one thing about dog lovers it is that they LOVE dogs.  The mere mention of you suggesting that the dog is any less important than anyone other than Oprah will have them thinking you are cruel.

It’s a tough situation.  A dog never goes away.  If you don’t like them or even if you do like them it will never get easier.  It’s like having a child forever.

And get a small dog and forget about it.  The barking will drive you INSANE if you don’t train it right.  Believe me, I’ve missed many a day’s work the next day because the “but he’s so cute” dog kept me up till five in the morning.

Many dog lovers will say, “Well I’ll always take care of it as long as we have it.”

Ummm… let’s be real.  The second you are deeply committed and live together we all know who will be picking up fun little surprises with a plastic bag every day.

So, if you see an online profile with a girl that loves dogs and she’s perfect in every way, but you just aren’t into dogs or, in fact, just don’t like them, then take my advice and think before you get yourself started on something that you may not be able to handle one day.  Because, trust me, the dogs aren’t going anywhere!