For years it seems (typically over an empty pint of Ben & Jerry’s) women have been trying to grasp the concept that maybe “he’s just not into you.” Although it’s a blow to the ego, thanks to the book and the movie (and the 99 texts he didn’t respond to), women can now understand a guy just might not be interested, and confidently log back online to check out her new matches.

However, I’m afraid (and have stories to prove my fear is right) many men have yet to get the memo that it’s possible she’s “just not into you.” Yes, yes, I know you; you are charming, have a full head of hair, and at 5’8,’’you are taller than the average Jewish guy.  But the truth (despite what your mother tells you) is that it is possible that she is “just not into you.”

So, please allow me to help you understand how to tell if she is “just not that into you,” so you can move on and find a match who appreciates the Mayan calendar as much as you do.

Guys, she is just not that into you IF…

  • She mentions anything like “Oh, it’s getting late and I have to work early” after being with you for only 10 minutes. At that point, just get the check, end the date and try picking up the girl sitting on the other side of you at the bar (trust me, your chances with her are better).
  • Her friends refer to you by a nickname that has something to do with your physical appearance. While it’s possible she could be referring to you as “hottie” or “great ass” to her friends behind your back, it’s unlikely. In my experience, it’s usually something more like: chunkers, jockey or horse jaw.
  • She invited you in after the first date, but didn’t invite you in after the second date. Look, chances are she had one too many drinks on your first date and decided it would be fun to have a drunken make-out session with you. Then, she didn’t get drunk on the second date. Turns out you’re not as much fun, or as good looking, when she is sober (don’t worry, no one is!).
  • There’s a look of absolute disgust, pending fear, or shear embarrassment on her face when you are together. Next time you decide to show up to a date with gum in your mouth, make sure to spit it out before she sits down. Having her watch you take the gum out of your mouth while it gets stuck in your teeth and pick it out is unacceptable in any public establishment.
  • Since you met she has yet to go out in public with you. If she’s into you, she will let you take her to dinner. If she’s just into fooling around with you, she will let you bring dinner over to her house. Simple as that.
  • You have to ask her if she is texting under that table on your first date. While she might say “it’s for work,” the only thing she is working on is an exit strategy.
Lauren Morgenstein is a native of Chicago who first tried JDate after moving to a new city. Since then, her dating adventures have provided hours of entertainment for her friends and co-workers. Follow her on Twitter here.
  1. Well said!! This was hilarious and so true. I literally laughed out loud.

  2. Not necessarly for all them. For example, if a woman doesn’t want to ask you up for the second date, she might be waiting for you to make the first move and be a lady, maybe she was embarrassed the first time for being so up front. Also, for the first one, maybe she does want to get home early. She might not want to sound to anxous, woman are not like men. Also, she could be texting under the table to tell her girfriends what a great guy you are or to talk to family, perhaps she is embarrassed you see her texting. She would not say yes to a date if she want not into you. Men have the option of asking the woman out, and since woman don’t use men for other things usually, the woman says yes she is intersted.

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