Moving to be closer to your significant other is a big deal, so let’s break it down. There are a couple scenarios here. One would be that you’re already in a long-distance relationship, and your partner brings up the idea of you moving to where they live. The other would be you’re living and dating in the same city, and your partner gets a great job opportunity elsewhere, and they want you to join them in their move to a new place.
So, the big question remains: “To move, or not to move?”
Not The Olden Days
If I was writing this post back in the “olden days,” the answer would be obvious. “Absolutely not. Do not move for a guy until there is a ring on your finger!” In 2016, however, I feel differently about this topic. There are no hard and fast rules anymore. You do what feels right to you and your relationship.
In fact, my husband and I did the whole long-distance thing for the first eight months of our relationship. Then, I moved to where he lives since his job was based there, whereas my job can be done remotely. So, I moved on down to Texas from The Big Apple for a boy. Oh the horror! However, we had very serious conversations about this prior to my move. While I didn’t have a ring on my finger at that point, it was very clear that it was going to happen down the road.
Take Some Time To Think
If you’re in a long-distance relationship and the idea of moving is brought up, take some time to think about it. Ask for a little time to ponder the idea before you shout “OMG yes!” or “No way!” It’s a huge decision to move, and you want to make sure it’s the right choice for you. Granted, you can always move back if things don’t work out, but it’s still important to thoroughly think this through.
If you’ve been together for a little while now, you’ve talked about the future and you’re both on the same page, moving might not be so bad. Just take into account that moving, in general, can be difficult. Take it from one who has moved a ton in her day, it’s exciting to move, but it has its challenges, too. It’s not all rainbows and daisies; there’s an adjustment period, and it can take time to feel “at home” in your new city. However, if you and your significant other are going in the same direction, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with making that move. I don’t think a ring is necessary to take that step, but I do think the future needs to be seriously discussed before you uproot your life for this person.
Now, let’s say you’re in a relationship within the same city, but your partner gets an incredible opportunity elsewhere. They would be crazy not to take said opportunity, but do you go with? The same discussion should apply. Make sure you’re on the same page about your relationship, and consider whether you both see a future together. You can’t predict what the future might hold, but at the moment, make sure you’re speaking the same language, if you know what I mean!
In the end, you need to make the decision that is best for you, first and foremost. Yes, it might sound like moving is what’s best for the relationship, but don’t forget about yourself, your career, your friends, your family and your life. Make sure you’re okay with this before making a life-changing decision. If you don’t feel it’s the best idea, that’s okay, too. Long distance can absolutely work. Think carefully and have multiple conversations before deciding whether to move or not to move.
You may also be interested in Moving In Together: How To Tell If You’re Ready For Cohabitation