Smoking hot women are fine. Smoking hot women – less fine. Having quit decades ago, I have no plans to pick up secondhand smoking, nor inflict on someone else the third-hand smoke I expel after breathing in secondhand smoke. Thoughtful, aren’t I?

When daters admit to smoking on their profiles, most check off “trying to quit.” Something tells me they’re blowing smoke somewhere else, if you catch my drift. If they indeed are trying to quit, how can I be sure their mood swings and desire to strangle me are just from the nicotine withdrawal? Meanwhile, I’m trying to quit the blind dating habit. Wonder if there’s a patch for that?

Then there’s physical info. Body Style: “A few extra pounds”. “Body Style” makes it seem like I could’ve ordered the compact. “A few” can mean any number of things: Ten. Twenty. Sixty. Am I getting warm yet?

“Extra” sounds like I’ll be receiving some kind of bonus. Why stop there? Complexion Style: “A few extra zits.” Personality Style: “A few extra demons.”