Dear Gems from Jen,

I am a 44-year-old single woman who would love to understand men better. Are any of the men on JDate interested in finding a soul mate? The ones that are, are a little too needy and the ones that are interesting are too distant! Any recommendations?

Thank you,

Dear Stacy,
Of course there are men on JDate who are interested in finding a soul mate! Many marriages have occurred thanks to JDate and the service it provides to us singles. I can understand your frustration, but finding someone takes effort and for most of us we are not going to click with everyone we meet every time.
My recommendations would be to keep your profile up to date and be sure to state your wants and needs. Your story is not that unique. A good number of women find the men who are distant more attractive than the ones who appear needy. Look past the image and really focus on what it is you want in a soul mate. Needy may just be emotionally available, where as distant may be emotionally unavailable.  For some, having someone willing and ready to commit is a scary proposition. Be sure to look long and hard at what it is you are really, truly searching for in a potential mate. When someone is offering themselves to another it can make the recipient feel vulnerable without even realizing that is what is happening. Even though our wants and needs are being fulfilled, some still tend to run from this largely because of fear. Keep up the JDate search and if you are willing to let all of the possibilities play out, I have no doubt you will find who you are looking for.
Gems from Jen