What NOT to do after you’ve met someone you really like:

1. Add them on Facebook and proceed to read every single post and dissect every single photo and read through the names of every single friend and then refer to things in the profile that you only know because of Facebook (most people do this, admit it)!

2. Send spies to their workplace (more people than one would think actually do this, especially when the person works in the service industry).

3. Sneak into their apartment and makeover the entire bedroom and bathroom in your favorite colors (true story).

4. Reroute your entire daily commute in order to possibly run into him or her (another one you can all admit to doing).

5. Hang out at their favorite coffee shop all day waiting for them to come in for their daily latte (just ‘fess up here people!).

So here’s my take: When you get excited about someone new, it’s normal to want to intersect your lives. And, doing one of the above is not such a huge thing, but doing all of them is definitely an indication that you have entered stalker-dom. If you have to call your new beau’s roommate to gain access to the apartment — and if you find yourself filling up on gas more than usual because of all the out-of-the-way-driving you’re doing — and if you are hiding some of your friends because they pretended to be “customers,” then you are officially a stalker and need to reassess your dating style.

Also, if someone is doing more than one of the above actions to you, then run (and run fast) in the opposite direction! Go on now.

  1. I may be the oddball here, but I’ve never done any of these things. I’ve been on the other end of most of these things though, which ruined some potentially good prospects for me.

  2. So true! Those whodo these kinds of things, are all about insecurity…and being juvenile! Plus being a ‘stalker’ is right!

  3. Well this is stalking, I think. The facebook situation, if they offer to add you and you add them as well, it’s not an issue, and you can maintain proper facebook etiquette as in, Do not refer to JDate on their Facebook wall, unless they do so first and there is obviously a feature on JDate that connects the two.

  4. This is possibly the worst “advice” I have ever read…. reserved for desperados?? LOL

    If it was a joke, then it’s simply bad writing because it didn’t come across that way. JDate, I’d remove this one asap.

  5. Whatever happened to the rule “Do unto others as you would have them do onto you???” Stalking in any definition (especially under the idea that it is ok because you are dating) is creepy and scary. It is a dangerous world and there is no police on internet dating. Be respectful, kind and most important protect yourself!

  6. People who behave in such a fashion know it’s STALKING, DUH. They cannot help themselves. But this is really not very insightful info. It’s actually sophomoric and demeaning.

  7. I hope this article was written tongue-in-cheek because ANY of those actions would be a major red flag to me! If you attempt to transform yourself, your life/habits or the other person in any way after just casually getting to know them, you are missing out on opportunity to find out who they really are as well as accurately represent who YOU are. Don’t change – either yourself or your actions. Practicing patience and restraint allows both parties the benefit of learning who the other really is through a process that’s comfortable and authentic.

  8. I thought I might learn something useful from this BUT, I simply cannot believe anyone would do any of these things….
    After all, if someone did something like this to you, wouldn’t you avoid them like the plague after that?
    I agree with a previous comment, if this was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, it didn’t come across that way.

  9. OMG…. Do people who’ve just met REALLY do things like that? Please follow this up immediately with an article entitled “How To Recognize your Stalker Psychos: Five things to Ask or Observe from a First Encounter”….

  10. As crazy or amusing as these “stalker” behaviors sound to some, others may need an objective voice to remind them that these behaviors are indeed abnormal and inappropriate. Romantic enthusiasm, so often depicted as funny or endearing in the movies, when taken to extremes, in real life is creepy and unwanted. People want to feel wanted and important to others, but the waye to demonstrate your desire for them is not by following, smothering and spying on them. At best, this is obsessing, which is depressing. At worst, it is controlling, which is disturbing. ALWAYS, ALWAYS trust your gut instinct. Red flags are warnings that tell you to exit a bad situation. Heed them. You may save your own life.

  11. Have to admit I did the facebook thing. But it is a good thing cause I could clearly see he was seeing another woman! I did ask about that. He was sure I was going to see it. Glad I did..would he have told me? I will never know. But he has since gotten rid of her and is now mine.

  12. I have had this done to me once…The checking out everything to the point that they told me they knew I was on a site and did not respond to them…I dropped him like yesterday’s news…It would not occur to me to do the things you have listed here…”Sneak in and redo rooms in your favorite color”…Really…??? Somebody has more money than sense…I am amazed…These things have obviously been “issues” or you would not be offering “advise” in this realm…WOW…Is all I can say…WOW…

  13. I moved house to get away from an ex. He then proceeded to get a job in the main Post Office just so he could try and find out my new address. So to all the ppl above saying that things like this could not possibly happen – yes, they can. Be careful out there.

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