Dear Gems from Jen,

I have gone out five times with this cute guy, who is a true gentleman and is looking for marriage (at least he wrote that in his profile). He is generous and smart, and keeps telling me he is comfortable being with me and that I am so pretty and smart and so on. He plans the dates based on my schedule and picks me up and usually has the entire evening planned. We also spent Valentine’s Day together and he brought me red roses, but he still logs on to his profile every night and it bothers me seeing him online. After how many dates should he stop checking out other girls online?

Thank you so much.

Dear Still Online,

My first question is; how do you know he is still online? Are you watching him or are you still looking at profiles, too? It can be very tempting to watch people online; however, it is usually not a productive activity and tends to lead to mistrust. My suggestion is to give this new relationship a bit more time.  Five dates is a great start, but a long-term, exclusive relationship it is not. See where things go. Take it slowly. Get to really know this person and let things progress naturally. Once the relationship becomes exclusive then the conversation regarding checking out other girls online will be appropriate. When two people commit to one another, looking at profiles is not an activity either one needs to be engaging in, but until that time he, just as you, can continue to look at profiles without feeling badly.


Gems from Jen