Dear Tamar,

I’m intimidated by men who seem to want everything in one person. They want a woman who is: compassionate, caring, a gourmet cook, active in hiking, scuba diving, in-line roller skating and other activities that I have never done. Superwoman doesn’t exist, or didn’t they get the memo? How am I supposed to measure up?

Dear Superwoman Without a Cape,

My friends and I like to joke that men are looking for a Jewish girl who is a supermodel with straight blonde hair, blue eyes, none of the curves that we’re known for having and, oh yeah, she should surf. Aside from Bar Refaeli, that woman does not exist. At least your list is about personality and hobbies, and not just about looks! Really though, I think that men, like women, have a list a mile long and hope that the person they fall in love with will encompass most of those traits, but you can’t wait for someone to come along who fulfills all of them. I admit that I had a list and yes, my husband meets many of my criteria and because of that I was able and willing to compromise, or give up, on the items he didn’t meet. That sounds harsh, but it’s not.

Instead of focusing on the things you don’t do, mention the traits you do bring to the table and be willing to try the hobbies that a prospect may have that you don’t and on the same hand see if a prospect would like you to teach him or her your hobby.

I also think sometimes people like to make themselves seem much more interesting than they really are due to insecurities. Maybe they snowboarded or kayaked one time, so they list it as something they enjoy doing. Don’t focus on these lists so intently, just see if there’s some kind of connection and go from there.