I would like to meet a man on JDate but do not know whether (and when) to disclose that I am a cancer survivor and that I have had surgery which has left my body deformed and scarred. I feel uncomfortable about being intimate due to my surgically-created physical deformities.

Thank you.


Dear JBO,

Mazel tov on your recovery!  I understand that the scars have left you feeling uncomfortable, but I believe your cancer survival is something to be proud of. It shows your inner strength and your determination!

My suggestion would be to disclose this information when you feel comfortable. Not any sooner. If you would like to disclose this information from the beginning I don’t see anything wrong with it whatsoever. As I said, it demonstrates what an amazing resolve you posses.  Your survival and recovery from cancer is not in the least bit shameful. It is part of your life story now and to build relationships that are healthy and carry longevity, honesty is of the utmost importance.

Be honest and candid when the moment feels right for you.  But remember, you are a survivor who has a lot to be proud of.


Gems from Jen