It’s happening, and sooner than you think. The snow has melted (if you had snow in the first place), flowers are in bloom, and fiancés/fiancées are busy turning into husbands and wives right before your eyes!
Yes, it’s wedding season.
And for singles, attending wedding after wedding can be a constant reminder that you’re not quite there yet. If you’re on JDate, you might even be attending the wedding of a couple who met on JDate — talk about inspiration, by the way!
As a matchmaker, I’ve attended my fair share of weddings. However, even before I started showing up at weddings as an occupational hazard, I was the quintessential wedding date for my male friends.
But actually — I love weddings. I have a great time going even when I’m single so I’d like to pass on a few of my feel-good tips and recommendations to keep your emotions and “singleness-bug” in check while you’re celebrating someone else’s special day.
1. Start from the outside and work your way in.
I never (read: never) advise people to use their looks or appearance as the foundation for impacting their self-confidence and level of happiness, with one exception — weddings. There are two reasons I’ll tell you to dress it up and strut your best stuff at these occasions. First, you never know who might be there. The bride’s cousin, the groom’s best friend from college — and when love is in the air, you never know who’ll catch it. But, more realistically, the pictures! Yup, those photos are going to be around forever, at least in the bride and groom’s wedding albums, and probably on Facebook as well! So if going to get your hair done or splurging on a new tie (gentlemen) makes you feel you look good, do it!
2. Don’t be the center of attention.
Ok, a few exceptions — if you’re the maid of honor or best man, you’re going to be in the spotlight. But, otherwise, the only time you can draw the bad kind of attention to yourself is by being the obnoxious drunk guy or girl on the dance floor, or the sourpuss in the corner who just looks like they’re having a terrible time and jealousy fit. Find your seat, make friends with your tablemates and entertain with lighthearted stories. Your charm will come through especially if you…
3. Don’t drink too much and turn into a wreck.
I was at a wedding recently where a girl sitting at the same table as me started crying during the father-daughter dance. Really crying. As it turns out, she wasn’t very close to her father, but I’m pretty sure that the other 149 people at the wedding didn’t need to know that. She had just drank too much. At other weddings, I’ve seen the groom’s fraternity brothers try to relive frat-house moments with Jaeger bombs and terrible stories. Sure, you can blame it on the alcohol later on, but why not just avoid the sloppy mess in the first place?
4. Bring someone amazing (if you can).
We all have one person who fits the category of “someone I can have fun with anywhere, anytime, no matter what” and that is exactly who you should be bringing as your platonic date. You know what draws one person to another? Fun. And if you look like you’re having fun, the people around you will gravitate towards that. (Remember those potential singles I mentioned in my first bullet point?) And, even if your fun moments never transpire to anything past the wedding itself, there are always those Facebook photos the bride and groom will post. You never know who’s going to see those…
Enjoy the wedding season! And, if you have any tips on how you, as a savvy single, navigate your way through weddings, please share them!