There’s a train of thought that you shouldn’t take things too seriously when it comes to dating, that if you’re relaxed and not “looking” for your husband or wife and just out to have fun, then you will meet someone. I agree and disagree. I believe you need to make an effort to find your dates — improving your JDate profile, expanding your search preferences, going to Jewish events — and you should take that process seriously, but once on a date, you shouldn’t act like you’re on a mission. No one wants to feel such pressure while they’re on a date. You should have fun on your dates whether you know right away that he or she is not your Beshert or if you don’t figure it out til the end of the night. You made the effort, you’re dressed up, you’re meeting someone new — don’t take yourself too seriously and try to have fun regardless of the circumstances. Life is too short. And if the date is an absolute disaster, take it in stride and then have a few laughs with your friends about the absurdity of it all. If the date is awesome, you know your date likes you for you and not for the fake persona you put on.

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