Dear Gems from Jen,

I am wondering what to do when I get a Flirt or an email and I am not interested in pursuing a conversation. What is the etiquette? I feel like I want to reply but not sure how to say “thanks for writing but I’m not interested.” Any ideas?



Dear Rachel,

I know this may sound old-fashioned and kind of cliché, but do you remember the “golden rule?” “Treat others in a way that you’re willing to be treated in the same exact situation.” To apply it, envision yourself in the exact place of the other person on the receiving end of the action. If you act in a given way toward another, and yet are unwilling to be treated that way in the same circumstance, then you are violating the golden rule. I believe most people would like a response.  They spent the time to write, so spend a moment or two to respond.

With that being said, I see absolutely nothing wrong with saying, “thanks for writing but I’m not interested.” It leaves no room for guessing where you stand on the part of the sender and you are displaying common courtesy. There have been numerous questions written to me about this very subject and I always say a reply is the most appropriate course of action.


Gems from Jen