Is age really nothing but a number? We asked JDaters in a recent Topic of the Week how they felt about ageism and romance and received a lot of varied opinions, but it appears that the majority think an age gap is okay. Here are some of our favorite responses:
10. “If they don’t get your references, it matters. If they use the word ‘like’ a lot, they are too young. If they talk about what they did in WWII, they are too old.” –Impishable, 58F, Decatur, Georgia
9. “As long as both people are over 18, who are we to judge?” — NomadicCityBoy, 42M, Jersey City, New Jersey
8. “Any guy can easily meet, date and marry a woman eight years younger than him. However, for every year over eight, he has to be able to write a cheque for a million bucks. Therefore, a 48-year-old guy can easily date a 35-year-old woman if he can produce five million on demand.” — 8328832, 45M, Montreal, Quebec
7. “Mark Twain wrote: ‘Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, then it doesn’t matter.’ People need to be with the person who truly makes them happy in life. If that person is a great deal younger or older than they are, as long as they are happy together…it shouldn’t matter.” — OurHeart2Heart, 47M, Los Angeles, CA
6. “Here’s a great rule of thumb for guys. Try it, it works…Youngest age to date would be half your age plus seven years. For example, if you’re 22, she can be 18. If you’re 30, she can be 22. If you’re 40, she can be 27, etc….” –– imDHeshMan, 39M, Souderton, Pennsylvania
5. “Only if it bothers either of you.” –– LUVINDC64, 45M, Great Falls, Virginia
4. “When he acts more like your father than your boyfriend.” –– briannajill, 27F, Las Vegas, Nevada
3. “When someone breaks their hip.” –– SalesTrainer64, 45M, Morristown, New Jersey
2. “You know you are dating someone too old for you when a server asks if your ‘father’ would like a coffee, drink or whatever when you are out at a restaurant!” –– smilesareamust, 50F, Montgomery, New York
1. “For a man who goes for youth and looks only, the woman has to understand that someone younger and prettier may come along. For a woman who goes for money and comforts only, the man has to realize that there are wealthier men out there. For a relationship to work, there needs to be a true understanding of what each person is seeking, and a mutual desire to make the relationship work. For that, even 20 years can work.” –– CaptnSpaulding, 49M, Northbrook, Illinois
From a woman’s perspective I am equally miffed (a bit) when a very young man im’s me as I am an old one. In my mind when they are so much younger they can only be looking to jump in the sack w/ an older woman as a experience to have. I just think the really old guys looking at women far too young have a lot of nerve. But that’s just one perspective.
My mother is recently widowed in 70’s. Technically for a year the whole time her husband was sick she has been alone and not had a social life.
She hasn’t had a date in over 40 years. I put her on Jdate. The pool of men between 70 and 85 is very small. Some haven’t been on line in over 60 days and signed up 3 years ago,(why are they still there, they are not viable) and most are looking for women my age 55-65. I don’t think that many seniors are computer literate and for the seniors, internet dating sites are more a means to try and meet the opposite sex but not to chat back and forth like the younger ones. My mother has never worked a computer, I have to monitor it for her, but after doing a lot of research there are no other activities in West Los Angeles except the Senior Centers that have any kind of activities and not evryone likes that sort of thing.A matchmaker is astronomical if they even have a senior clientele.
I think more should be done to promote the senior part of the Jdate site and if you know a lonely senior put them on and man it for them. Maybe there should be a reduced rate for seniors and more actual activities other than get on and chat. It’s a mitzvah to match up two people, but it’s a double mitzvah if they are seniors. I am at a loss of how to help my mother I wonder if anyone else has the same problem.
I think more should be done to promote the senior part of J date as well. I am not sure how you would do it but it really needs to be promoted. I am 65 look about 52, am really healthy, slender, and have been told I am very attractive. Where I live in Charlotte, N.C. there are almost no over 60 year old’s on J Date. They have to be out there, they are just not on J Date. And while I am at it, I wish there was some way to keep J Date really Jewish. I have been contacted by non-Jews, if I wanted to date non-Jews I would be on another site as well.