She says one day! He says two days! That guy says five days! And I want to call her right now!
It’s the age-old question: How long do us guys have to wait before actually calling the women that we just had a date with?
Let’s face it; we don’t often meet somebody that we are highly interested in calling. Finding the perfect match is tough. It’s very rare to go out on a date, hit it off, and daydream about all the happiness that this person may bring us. Maybe that’s what makes us guys stress all the more when we do finally find someone we want to call.
As the legendary Vince Vaughn once said in Swingers (a must see for single guys out there just getting out of a relationship), “Call too soon and you just might scare off a beautiful baby that’s ready to party.” We certainly don’t want to look desperate or too needy, as this is always a turn off for women.
On the other hand, we don’t want her to slowly lose all the great feelings and emotions that we created on our first date to be forgotten if we wait too long.
Ask five people and you may get five different answers. So what’s the answer?
While there is no advice, my answer … drum-roll please… Call the next day or two days at most. Surprised? The reason why is because online dating is a completely different animal than most forms of dating. With online dating there is a ton of competition. You may have had a great date but the emails are going to keep piling in for the person whom you hope to meet again. The longer you wait, the more time someone else may have to swoop in…and the more she may think you are not interested and emotionally move on. We must always remember online dating has to be treated differently than under normal circumstances.
Besides, waiting has become so cliché and obvious at this point in time. Calling the next day separates you from everyone else out there in a good way.
So what do you think out there? Are you with me ladies!?
I’ve gone out with 2 new guys this week. They BOTH called or texted me roughly half an hour after our dates to say what a good time they had and to inquire if I got home safely. BRAVO!!! This was exactly what a girl (I’m 40) wants to hear: I like you and am concerned about you. The first guy also sent me a note just to say hi 2 days after our date. He had a family event out of town for the weekend, but made the attempt to contact me anyway. BRAVO! The second guy I emailed the next day with a piece of info pertaining to a scientific discussion from the night before. He immediately replied back that I was correct and admired my mind. Well done, thank you very much!
GUYS: This is the type of communication women want to get within 48 hours of a good date: I like you, I care about you, I think you’re more than just a pretty face. If it feels right to you to call/email/text her immediately after, do it. If it feels right the next day, do it. If it feels right 2 days later, do it. Just don’t do all 3 or multiples thereof after only 1 date. That can get a little creepy. In other words, be relaxed, be yourself, but don’t stalk.
GIRLS: Let him contact you first. If you don’t hear from him in the first 48 hours, you can send him a SHORT note saying you had a great time, mention something specific (he made you laugh, etc) and say you’d like to see him again. ONLY SEND ONE OF THESE NOTES. If he doesn’t reply, either he’s not interested, or he may reply after a week or so bc, really, he DOES have a life outside of JDate (you should hope.) He might be on a business trip or have a major crisis at work. His mother might break her hip and he’s prince charming who rescued her off the bathroom floor and is with her in the hospital. (Don’t you want him to be that mensch?) Open the door but let him walk through it. Alternatively, if he does contact you within 48 hours of the date, feel free to reply back, but make it interesting and think of it like a tennis match. Each player takes a turn passing the ball back and forth. Don’t email him 5 times for every 1 he emails you. And RELAX!