Dear Tamar,

So I have been debating with 2 other friends who also have profiles about the best way to approach a girl on JDate. My guy friend and I feel that a 2-3 sentence email asking the girl about something in their profile (EX: she likes books, what’s your favorite book, but not that boring, I promise!) is the best way to approach a girl. However, our friend that’s a girl says an IM is the best way to approach a girl on JDate. Thoughts?

Dear The Approach,

I would agree with you guys (surprised I didn’t side with the girls?). Back in the day when I was on JDate, an email that showed some thought and effort was put into it always impressed me more than  random Instant Messages. That said, I liked I.M.’s because we got to jump right into a conversation and could see if something flowed (while, of course, I quickly scanned their profile to see if we were a match). The best thing would be an I.M. after the exchange of 2 e-mails where a phone number is asked for and given and then the relationship moves off the computer and to the phone.