He’s cute, smart and successful, but after a year as a JDate.com Subscriber, 38-year-old Darren was getting tired of being rejected by the women he tried to connect with online. He lamented “they just don’t respond to any of my notes and I don’t understand what I am doing wrong,” when he decided to enlist some online dating help from SingleEdition.com.
His essays were sweet and nicely written, and his preferences realistic and not too narrow in scope, so why was this eligible bachelor not getting the attention he deserved from female JDaters? It became evident after one quick assessment where the problem lay – the images that Darren selected to publish in his personal profile were not optimal. And this was not a comment on his looks, but rather how he presented himself.
Some people are too afraid to post personal pictures while others upload a gallery of inappropriate photographs. How can you tell for certain if those candid shots you selected are doing you justice? Experience has led us to believe that there is indeed a “science” to selecting the right image. Here are five helpful tips to figure it out:
Choosing the Right Image
1. No Picture, No Play – If you are nervous about getting busted by friends or colleagues, too shy to share or scared for your safety, think again. The single most important element of creating an attractive online profile is the inclusion of a personal image. In fact, studies reveal that 85% of online daters would not connect with someone without a picture. Adding one picture can grow your prospect pool dramatically and a lack thereof may explain why your profile is stagnating.
2. Skip the Body Shots – Those abs of steel you reveal may increase your click through rate but let’s face it – no one wants to date a person whose midriff has been circulating in the Jewish community, no matter how big the city you live in may be. So do yourself a favor and save those beach body images for a later date. If you must, shots that hint at that marvelous physique are better than those where you look like a show-off.
3. Posing with the Posse: Group shots make it difficult for potential candidates to spot who you are. They can also send the wrong message – as the expression goes you are judged by the friends you keep. If you’re in the market to meet a serious mate, a picture of you and your buddies downing shots may send the wrong impression.
4. Keep Your Ex Out of It – Pictures with the ex, even if they are 99% cropped out, also send the wrong message. If you don’t want onlookers to think you are on the rebound, a serial player or insecure, it’s best to opt for an image of you solo.
5. Keep Control of Your Photo Library – One image paints a picture, 2-3 suggest you’re seriously searching, any more than that gives off an air of desperation or arrogance.
6. Don’t Hide Behind a Mask – You may look hot with hair, sunglasses or last year’s Halloween costume covering your face, but obscure face shots may not do you justice. So don’t be afraid to show off your smile and be sure to choose images that are recent. A picture of you from more than 10 years ago – before you lost your hair or put on 15 pounds, will only lead to a letdown later.
If ever in doubt, just ask a friend for a second opinion. And always remember it’s not what you look like but the impression you put out there that makes all the difference.
I don’t think this is entirely correct. I have a nice, current photo with a well written profile and emails, and attractive women won’t respond anyway!
What happens if you want to update a photo but are too shy to ask a family member or friend to take a photo of you? Will a passport size of a photo from a pharmacy do? Also what happens if you don’t know how to download a photo taken from your digital camera to a computer so it can then be emailed to Jdate to post the picture on your profile?
What was the outcome of the story? Did Darren end up getting updated photos, and if so, did women respond and did he get any dates as a result?
The Outcome: Darren did a “photoshoot” with a female friend who helped make sure his pics were appealing. And yes, it worked. He soonafter started to get responses to his pokes and is now actively dating someone he met on jdate and it’s been 4 months still going strong. Only one little problem – he fell for someone who lives out of state !
Nice going Darren. I’m sure he has his priorities straight, being 38 & single for so long. Distance isn’t a problem when it’s the real thing. And to you Craig: I think pics are important, BUT there’s more to finding the one than looks. Hang in there, she will show up :-).
I find changing my profile picture now and then keeps the men coming back with great comments and it gets boring to look at the same profile picture.
Sherri, how did Darren contact SingleEdition.com? Is there a phone number or email address? Is there a charge involved and if so, what is the cost? Like Craig above and Darren, the subject of your article, I updated my photo also as a result of a “photoshoot” from a female friend who took around 6 photos and chose the best one, which I agreed on. I consider myself to be a good catch like Darren. However, after approaching many women on Jdate for a considerable period of time, I got very limited responses, mainly rejections, just like before I had updated my photo. I believe my profile is fine too, just like Darren’s. Can I get a consultant at SingleEdtion.com to look at my Jdate profile and picture after contacting them? I hope you can help.
Sherri, it’s one thing to be attractive and another to be photogenic. I know of several ladies who are very attractive but not photogenic. You are extremely photogenic in your photo on other JMag articles. Therefore, my question to you is for either a guy or a girl who isn’t photogenic but looks much better in person, should they still use their non photogenic photo on Jdate, no matter how hard they have tried to look photogenic?
Cheryl, I change my profile name every now and again as it’s boring to look at the same profile name. Unfortunately, I don’t get great comments from women, would you believe no comments!
The trouble is that a great number of jewish girls are not looking for Mr Right. They’re looking for Mr Perfect.
You have to have the right job, the right bank account, live in the right area, drive the right car, have the right physique and on top of all this, they want you to be jewish too?
You only have to look at how many women there are on this site who are in their 40s and have never been married. Perhaps too many of them believe what their fathers told them, that no boy is good enough for them.
Meanwhile, the biological clock ticks-tocks away. Only a few more years left girls.
Mind you, being a spinster isn’t that bad. Is it?
Hi All!
Sorry been mia but you can write to SingleEdition if you have additional questions and I will do my best to respond. Here is the address: info@SingleEdition.com…
Law: Did you see the article on Dating Mr. Rich not Mr. Right?