So, after a long chat with a colleague this afternoon, I had one of those “how did I not see it” moments. She and I spent some time discussing past relationships that we had both suffered through and enjoyed all at the same time. Kind of an oxy-moron, but bear with me here.
She talked about a guy who had chased her for months even though she had no interest.  One day, out of the blue, the sun rose and the feelings on her end appeared. It took her by surprise, but she went with it. Things went great for a bit and then all of a sudden he wanted out. She ended up devastated by the break-up and felt angry and betrayed because he was the one who had pursued her all of those months.
He told her she had somehow changed. My first thought was that he only liked the thrill of the chase and once he caught his prey, the excitement had died down. Seems too easy of an answer though, so me being me, I probed a bit deeper.
I asked her if she had changed. Her first response was an absolute “no.” I asked the question again. This particular colleague is a mental health professional, so she knew I was looking for something more. After a moment of silence, a light bulb went on (I could see it happen). She told me that yes, when he was pursuing her all of those months she was her absolute, authentic self.  No pretenses. No awkward moments. No trying to impress. Once she fell for him, it all changed. She began to play the part of what she thought he wanted.
The moral of the story is as follows: be who you are.  Present the real you. Being honest and genuine are two of the most attractive traits going.