As I was watching snippets of Shakespeare in the Park, “To Be or Not To Be” perhaps one of the most famous quotations in literature from William Shakespeare’s Hamlet echoed in my mind. In personal relations where a preexisting relationship does not exist, is it better to be completely Direct or Not to be?
Recently I was set-up with an age appropriate, kind, generous, fun, uber wealthy man …so what is the problem you ask??  I didn’t feel chemistry or the necessary physical attraction.  Could that develop??  It is a rarity, but perhaps.  I’ve been told by my relationship mentors (i.e. friends who seemingly have great marriages)…if the date passed the enjoyable/non-offensive threshold, give it a 2nd shot. You just never know.
Nonetheless, it is always an awkward moment when you are directly asked your schedule to plan date #2 and you are not sure you actually want there to be a date #2, yet wouldn’t mind adding the person to your circle of friends.  Do you vaguely mumble, “drop me a line and we will figure it out” or do you directly say at that moment, “I don’t feel the necessary chemistry for date #2.”
I’m a direct person and I am all about information, whatever that information is.  So for me, there is no substitute for being direct.   That said, several of my guy friends, when polled, surprisingly preferred the subtle less direct blow-off.
To Be Direct or Not To Be.. remains the question.