Dear Tamar,

I started dating a guy from JDate about a month ago and things have been perfect, but I’m scared they’re actually too good to be true. We get along great, we have so much in common, we never argue, there’s chemistry, we call and text without any hesitation or doubt, my parents already met him and love him, and we naturally referred to ourselves as being in a relationship without having “The Talk.” But now I’m scared it’s all going to explode in my face. I’ve never been in a relationship that went so smoothly… but maybe this is how it’s supposed to be? Am I sabotaging it?



Dear Marisa,

It is very possible that you’re sabotaging a truly great relationship, but I also understand why you’re being cautious. We are so used to dating being difficult that when it’s not, we are stunned.

That said, one red flag of the things that you mentioned is the fact that you never argue. It’s not that you should argue – compromising is really important – but you need to see how you both react when one or both of you gets angry… because you will argue eventually. Don’t pick a fight on purpose; the longer you are together the chances are it will happen on its own and you can see how things go down.

Speaking of the amount of time you’re together… it’s still pretty early on in the relationship. You both are still on your best behavior and have the new relationship glow creating a bubble around you where everything is fun and loving. Until that bubble pops and reality sets in, then you won’t really know if it’s too good to be true or not. I suggest enjoying the bubble while it lasts, but know that it won’t last forever. In the meantime, try to set a really good foundation while things are good. And good luck!


For solutions to any dating dilemma, submit your questions to Dear Tamar online.


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