Dear Gems from Jen,

I’ve been dating a nice guy since October. One might think that by now I would know how to handle the upcoming Valentine’s Day in terms of the form a gift might take. However, he’s got a hard time accepting any compliments or any expression that translates to “you’re special.” Also, neither of us is into expensive gift giving. Typically, what’s the role of the woman for Valentine’s Day? I love giving to people, but in this case, I don’t know what to do.

Dear Valentine’s Day Gift-Giving,

I would be interested to know more about the difficult time this guy has accepting compliments. It sounds to me as if he has a difficult time validating how you truly feel about him. With this said, I can definitely empathize with your plight. I might be wrong, but it appears that you are walking on eggshells where this guy is concerned. If giving to people is your thing, why stop now? Part of being in a relationship is staying true to you. With that said, I don’t know if there really is a typical role for the woman when it comes to gift giving on Valentine’s Day. What do you want to give him? What makes the most sense to you? If he were able to accept your compliments what would you consider giving him? Ask yourself these questions and then make the decision. Gifts do not have to be expensive, but they should translate into how you are feeling towards the recipient. For instance, if he is into wine buy him his favorite bottle. If he enjoys basketball get him a couple of tickets. If he likes your cooking make him a homemade meal. Just remember, gift giving should be an enjoyable experience not one that causes anxiety.


Gems from Jen