Dear Gems from Jen,

Met a great guy on this site. We live in different cities. After a month I visited for the weekend and we had a wonderful time. 6 weeks of talking/im 2 to 3 times a day. Then out of no where he said he needs to take a break, two weeks after our visit. What gives and how should I handle this. I am giving him the space he asked for and have not contacted him.


Dear On A Break,

The internet is such a wonderful way to expand our dating horizons It takes us to places that only a relatively few years ago seemed impossible. We get the opportunity to meet and date people that live near and far. New experiences, new people, and at times heartbreak and disappointment, all thanks to the boom of the World Wide Web.

JDate is an amazing tool that connects us to people who share a common thread. However, online dating can also leave us feeling as if we are living in a reality, when at times we are living in a fantasy. Talking/im-ing 2-3 times a day speaks volumes about how quickly one can fall into the fantasy of what could be, even before you actually meet. Human interaction is the underlying factor that will determine if two people are truly compatible. All of the electronic communication in the world cannot account for the chemistry that two people share. You either have it with someone or you don’t.

It sounds to me as if the both of you were living in a fantasy. You had spent a month electronically communicating and building ideas about the other person. My suggestion would be to let this guy know you are missing him and if he still insists on “taking a break” chalk this experience up to one you can learn from. Meeting someone on JDate is fantastic, but remember, until you meet face to face nothing can be determined. It is the meeting that will let you know. Don’t give too much until after you meet. This way a fantasy will be removed and you will be living in the reality of the situation.


Gems from Jen