My long-awaited date is only a day away.  In preparation of the festivities, I have gone down my list of potential dates.  First, I eliminated all of my male friends who signed up as a joke.  Next, I took out all of the women who do not live in the same city.  I was then left with three contestants.  I emailed them and asked if they could still come. All three of them refused to go.  Well, they didn’t just say ‘no.’ They sugar-coated it with excuses like “I’m married” or “I’m your mother.”  Truthfully, the excuses were not that barefaced but were equally hurtful.

Now I’m back to where I was two months ago, only 43 pounds thinner.  Though I do not have a date for Friday, I do have a lifetime of not having a heart attack or Diabetes.  Also, I will be able to go shirtless in appropriate places like swimming pools, beaches and libraries.  I am now sweating less and have more energy.  However, I have yet to find the need for more energy.  My average day consists of waking up, showering, working and driving home.  Not one of those activities requires more energy than I already had as an overweight twentysomething.

So I go back to square one and scour JDate for dates in Houston.  Though the date will probably not happen, I am a happier person than I was two months ago.  I hear that life is easier as a thin person, and I am excited about that prospect.  I haven’t been out anywhere besides work and Subway® yet.  Hopefully, being thin precludes me from having to talk to girls.  They will just naturally flock to me and give me things.  But first I have to eat this Subway® sandwich.