My long-awaited date is only a day away. In preparation of the festivities, I have gone down my list of potential dates. First, I eliminated all of my male friends who signed up as a joke. Next, I took out all of the women who do not live in the same city. I was then left with three contestants. I emailed them and asked if they could still come. All three of them refused to go. Well, they didn’t just say ‘no.’ They sugar-coated it with excuses like “I’m married” or “I’m your mother.” Truthfully, the excuses were not that barefaced but were equally hurtful.
Now I’m back to where I was two months ago, only 43 pounds thinner. Though I do not have a date for Friday, I do have a lifetime of not having a heart attack or Diabetes. Also, I will be able to go shirtless in appropriate places like swimming pools, beaches and libraries. I am now sweating less and have more energy. However, I have yet to find the need for more energy. My average day consists of waking up, showering, working and driving home. Not one of those activities requires more energy than I already had as an overweight twentysomething.
So I go back to square one and scour JDate for dates in Houston. Though the date will probably not happen, I am a happier person than I was two months ago. I hear that life is easier as a thin person, and I am excited about that prospect. I haven’t been out anywhere besides work and Subway® yet. Hopefully, being thin precludes me from having to talk to girls. They will just naturally flock to me and give me things. But first I have to eat this Subway® sandwich.