When it comes to dating, many people have deal breakers – you know, those traits and qualities that you simply refuse to deal with. But have you ever thought about your so-called deal breakers, and I mean really thought about them, to determine if they are really so bad? Is a deal breaker really worth not dating someone, even if they’re great in every other way?
What Are Your Deal Breakers?
If you’re wondering whether your deal breakers are holding you back, start by writing them down. Are they physical traits, such as tall and dark hair? Or are they more about personality, like too sarcastic or maybe not sarcastic enough? Is it a lifestyle issue, like someone who hates to travel or who doesn’t have a high-paying job? Is it a mix of lots of different things?
Think about any deal breakers you have. Take them seriously, and be absolutely and completely honest with yourself. No one will see this list except you, so it’s time to take a long hard look at what your dating criteria is.
How Important Are They?
Now, think about how important those deal breakers really are. Again, be honest with yourself. It’s totally fine if a deal breaker of yours is if they’re short. But spoiler alert: most Jewish men are short! All jokes aside, the more honest you are with yourself, the better off you’ll be.
That said, not all deal breakers are created equal. When you’re thinking about or writing down those deal breakers, see if you can put at least half in the “not so bad” category. Some of the things that are actually just preferences don’t really fit the deal breaker label. Unless it’s absolutely, 100 percent something you can’t live with, cross it off the deal breaker list for good.
No Deal Breakers?
And what if you actually don’t have any deal breakers? Well, that’s not necessarily a bad thing either. Though, I would urge you to think about even just little things that you don’t love about a possible partner. Being picky isn’t a bad thing, and it can be good to know what you are looking for, especially when it comes to the big things like values and goals.
Ultimately, it comes down to knowing yourself and knowing what you want, like and need. At the end of the day, you do not want to settle, but you also don’t want to write every single person off for small, insignificant reasons. So, take the time to figure out what it is you want and what it is you absolutely do not want. You’ll be so happy you did.
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