Dear Gems from Jen,
So, I had asked you, earlier on the month, about a situation I had with a guy who had blown me off with no explanation after a great first date and constant texting and calls after. Well, his excuse was he lost his phone and came down with the flu. He apologized and we called a truce and I gave him a second chance which he seemed to be thankful for. Well, we met again for the second time the other night. The whole week prior to the date we texted each other constantly throughout the day and night (which bothered me a bit). I am used to talking on the phone a lot to get to know someone, but I have not dated in eight years so I just figured that texting is what singles are doing nowadays. Anyway, the date went well, we had a great conversation, he showed me pictures of his daughter, we talked about our kids and I was happy that we had met up again. He even commented on how happy he was that I gave him another chance. The date lasted four hours. Before we left the restaurant he told me to text him when I got home to let him know I was ok. I got home, texted him and went to bed.
The next day I thought it a bit odd that I did not hear from him in the morning so I went about my day. Late in the afternoon, I texted him to say hi and asked how his day was going and I never heard from him again! Wow, do I feel like an idiot for giving this jerk a second chance. I am starting to think he has a girlfriend. Why would someone screw with someone’s head like this? If dating is like this nowadays let me stop right here. Who needs this aggravation and disappointment? That is why I left my husband. Since I am new to dating again please let me know if I did something wrong here…was it giving him a second chance?
Dear What Happened Part II,
Again, I’m sorry this happened to you. Sometimes, it takes us longer to learn the lessons we need to learn. This guy, as you can obviously tell at this point, is not being honest with you. He has a pattern here and if you ever hear from him again my suggestion would be to run the other way! I have no idea what his motives truly are, but he is not the straight-forward person he claims to be.
As for the texting, if this is not a comfortable way of communicating for you let the other person know. No one is a mind reader and you must feel comfortable in order to be fully vested in a relationship.
The only mistake you made was giving this guy a second chance. We have all done it, so don’t beat yourself up. Just realize he is not the one for you and continue your search. There really are nice guys out there!
Gems from Jen