You sit indifferently at the restaurant across from a woman you swore you have seen before. Have you been set up on a blind date with someone you actually went on a date with long ago but can hardly remember, or have you been married to the same woman for so long that your brain reorganizes itself every time you look at your spouse to prevent yourself from committing suicide long enough to enjoy this wonderful dinner at Olive Garden?

If you chose option number two, then it is high time to file for a divorce. If, however, you are not married, then the separation should be relatively simpler. However, do not mistake comfort for misery. That is, if you’ve been in a relationship for years, and are only in it because you work a minimum wage job and your significant other is a lottery winner, it’s time to cut them loose. In an anecdote that probably resonates with more people, don’t stay with somebody simply for convenience. This is good advice unless, of course, both you and your boy/girlfriend are boring. Then you’re screwed.

What I don’t understand however, is the ongoing relationship between a highly exciting person and someone who is dull. What are you doing? You have a lifetime of adventure that you’re just wasting so that your conservative parents will be happy. Or, is there a deeper dynamic that has already existed between your uptight parents? Maybe one day, long ago, they were exciting too, but gave up their hopes and dreams and international differences in order to appease somebody as well.

Was this originally about when it’s too late to break up? Was I originally supposed to give advice?

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